many faces.

today has been filled with some pretty ding dang dong deep convos with some great people.

my morning started with the realization that you can’t change a person. whoa. i think i knew that. but it was cool to say it out loud. to actually talk it out with someone else.

rather than try to change a person, praying for them is better, right? sounds easy.

i’d say it’s actually the harder choice.

wouldn’t be easier to try & control a person? to be emotionally invested in their every decision, in every word they say, every move they make? that’s easy. you start feel like you could honestly rescue someone from their problems. you could fix them. it fills you with power and a sense of control.

after some talking & some listening, i learned that the harder choice, & probably the better choice, is to leave the changing & the fixing up to the expert. who better to save someone than the savior. the king. the creator of everything. i’m so guilty of wanting to change people. like seriously.

i guess i surround myself with ridiculously grace-filled, gracious people. people who see my mistakes & love me through them, rather than focusing on me changing.

so, on the outside, my life is usually like this:

img346

no, i’m not seven years old anymore. i don’t wear big-framed glasses; plastic bows don’t hold back my bangs; my tooth-gap no longer takes the spotlight. but i still try to smile. super big. my life is no longer carefree like this seven years old was. but pictures only capture a moment. there are moments before the click, before the before the flash. & just as many moments after the click, after the flash.

realistically, most moments are like this:

img347silliness. doubt. sassiness. annoyance. impatience. the moments in life that are real & important, but sometimes they get overshadowed by all the smiling. by all the picture-moments.

it’s good to slow down & remember that there are moments between the pictures, between the flashes, & they still matter. it’s kinda just like “the space between the notes” that i learned about last weekend at church.

i don’t want to overlook those moments anymore. i wanna see what i may be missing in my life – in the lives of those around me. i don’t want to be distracted by all the smiles.

that’s my goal this week. a little mini-goal. it’s quite possible that when i change my focus, my need desire to change a person will slowly fade. i’ll see their moments – their struggles – as a way to show them grace. to be the friend that sees them as a person, not as a big screw up.

thanks for reading. & special thanks to the sweet colorful “love” shirt i’m wearing above.

if you wanna hear more about the space between the notes – the musical notes – & what that even means, listen to the podcast here.