change hurts.

things. things. thangssss.

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we all know change hurts. i mean, that’s obvious.

that’s the kinda thing people always say when change is about to happen,

“well, it hurts, but over time, it’ll get better. blahblahblahhhh.”

although it’s super true – change hurts; time heals – i’ve noticed that time really isn’t what does the healing.

bc guess whattttt. as time passes, we pick up other habits, other distractions, other junk to capture our attention from the pain. you know what i’m saying?

time does pass – that’s inevitable. but healing doesn’t necessarily happen. usually bandaids cover up wounds & people see a huge dora face on your hand & they kinda forget there is an open wound under that dora face. but you haven’t forgotten. nope. you know exactly what’s under that bandaid.

dorai google-imaged this so you could follow my analogy . . .

about three years ago, i was sitting up in church – trying to heal from one of those large wounds to the heart- & up pops this video:

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take ten minutes to watch this. seriously. do it.

crying isn’t the best word to describe what happened next. i would call it sobbing. yes. sobbing.

something about hearing that god wants to remove that junk from my life – & that it’s supposed to hurt – was all too much. overwhelming.

i still get emotional when i watch the chisel skit video. it brings back those fresh memories of a season that i’m so thankful is over, but it also makes me smile bc healing happened.

but that’s the thing with seasons, right? one passes & just as quickly as you can say “see ya!” the next season comes running from behind & almost knocks you over. or maybe it’s more of a shy season . . . it creeps up on you & you don’t even realize you’re in the season & have been for about a month. seasons have a way about them.

——

do you know what insanity is?

insanity is doing the same thing over & over & over again, expecting different results.

& there are things in your life – you even think back to high school – that you’ve been doing that do not work in your life . . .

but you go to these empty wells,

whenever you’re hurting,

whenever you’re angry,

whenever you’re lonely & tired,

but they  d o  n o t  w o r k.

——–

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hope.

i sit here tonight & remember that hurt; that anger; that loneliness; that tiredness. i remember all my empty wells. some days it was easy to practically sprint to those wells; other days i could barely manage an army-crawl, dying to get a drink. something, anything, to quench my thirst.

i still crawl to empty wells.

the difference now is that i know a l l  t o o  w e l l  that they are EMPTY.

& i know where there are rivers, streams, OCEANS full of quenchable water – – beautiful, sweet release. relief.

i must say, though, it’s still hard to run to that place, the thing, the person who will make it all better – – even when i’ve experienced the dry, empty wells of life.

we are human. we are insane. ok, ok, maybe i’ll just speak for myself.

i can be insane sometimes. i’ll do the same thing over & over & over again, expecting different results.

the season of pruning & chiseling is one of the hardest, most beautifully freeing times a person can go through. i could talk about it for hours. i could talk for hourssss about all the things god chiseled outta my life. ugh. hours.

like the video above shows- chiseling, to make something beautiful & better, is going to hurt. you can’t take a hammer to something & not expect a painful process. journey.

but the encouraging thing to remember: change is best made when the pain of staying the same hurts more than the pain of changing.

& that, my friends, is what motivates me.
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so i’m in a new season. it has its challenges. & god will have to do some chiseling & i’ll have to let him.

i love that about god. he’s never done. never. he didn’t just create & give up. he’s constantly wanting to make his creation better. ugh. i could also talk about this for hours.

i’ll leave you with this:

we are all trying to better ourselves. whether we are successful with it or not, the truth remains.

if you look at anyone’s pinterest boards – you’ll see people just wanting to enjoy this life, improve an already awesome person & make a ridiculous amount of vegetarian/vegan dishes (we all like the idea, let’s be real . . . )

embrace yourself – be honest – & let god chisel. it’s gonna hurt, but you know it’s gonna be good. he created you & he knows what’s best.

let go baby

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