our first pregnancy || joy after miscarriage

Yesterday, November 28, would be the start of my second trimester. Instead, we are reluctantly navigating the sorrow of a miscarriage. I remember the day I found out I was pregnant. We had been trying to grow our family for a few months. The first month you try, you have so much hope. The second month, you’re still pretty hopeful. By the third month, doubt begins to creep in. So you can imagine the intense feeling of JOY and DISBELIEF when I saw a positive sign. I was a MOM. I am a Mom. Experiencing this miracle for the first time, I suddenly connected with every mother on the planet. I was in love with our baby. The excitement was overwhelming. My baby was number one on my mind. We were able to tell only a few family and friends of our pregnancy. I thank God we did that. The pain, the grief, the uncertainty, the complete sorrow that accompanies a miscarriage should never ever be done alone. It’s so important to walk through this pain with people you can trust. Some days are harder than others. When I need to cry, I cry. The tears come out of nowhere, and for that I thank God. It reminds me how REAL love is. It reminds me how of FAITHFUL God is. My pain is no surprise to Him. I rest in His joy, His strength, His redeeming love. Grant and I are heartbroken and filled with hope, all in the same breath. Our Baby June will forever be in our hearts. We wait for the day we meet our June Baby. Until then, we continue to live and grieve and love. There’s a video link in my profile telling more of the story. I’m choosing to love myself and be vulnerable through sharing this – I want to post just as much sorrow as I do joy in my life. It makes life more real. My prayer is someone can be encouraged through their pain, and as mothers we continue to life each other up.

2 thoughts on “our first pregnancy || joy after miscarriage

  1. Alicia that is so beautiful and I think of you, Grant and Baby June often. Please know I am there for you both.
    Love, Mom

Comments are closed.