purpose – like real purpose

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this weekend at church the message is about “the single family.” i’ve been married to grant for 5 short months, so honestly my life has been spent more single than not. y’all know i’m passionate about what a single person is capable of – what a single person can experience during this season, bc that was me. it was my story. i’ve never been shy about how i feel on the topic of being single (just search “single” on this blog & you will see!) there tends to be this invisible timer attached to a single person – as if your time just hasn’t come yet, as if he or she isn’t here yet. now, i’m a newlywed who knows literally nothing on the topic of marriage, but i must say (shout!), marriage won’t complete you. it’s a blessing, absolutely, but it’s no lifesaver. you have purpose no matter what. bottom line. i hope you do feel encouraged that you do matter in the kingdom and god will use you, no matter what your relationship status. remember, he’s bigger than any situation.

his first name luke, his last name warm.

photo(15)oh golly. she’s writing about being single again.

ha!

yep.

in a culture focused on the next step, i wanna take time to pause. if that means once a month, once a week, once a day, then that’s what i will do.

i saw this video about three years ago & every time i watch it, my heart bursts. you should watch it after you read this post.

there is no need to rush. why do we live in such a rushed culture?

in my life, i’ve looked forward to the next step SO much.

in elementary school, i couldn’t wait for middle school.

in middle school, i couldn’t wait for high school.

in high school, i couldn’t wait for college.

in college, i couldn’t wait to graduate.

it’s a steady progression that we can’t deny; we are always anticipating that next step, which ultimately results in us missing the current step; the step we couldn’t wait to be in just a few years before.

& this must be why i tend to see life in steps. i think we all do.

after college, you get a job; start your career. then you find your husband. then you get married. then you have kids. then you raise your family. then your kiddos leave the nest. then you & your husband learn to build a marriage that is no longer second to raising your kids. then you become a grandparent. then you spend your days spoiling those babies. then you retire. then . . . then the next step is relying on other people to take care of you.

well, who honestly wants to rush all of that?! gives me small doses of anxiety just thinking about it.

so instead of thinking of life in steps, i’m abandoning all of that. all of it.

there is no next step for me. i love my job. i love my friends. i love my saturdays on the couch & my wednesdays catching the sunset. i love playing mario cart randomly on a friday night & having spontaneous dinners with my dad.

i like the unpredictable life.

i used to dread questions about my career and my lack of a love life. but that was before i realized that life is so much more than all of those steps. those steps may define you at dinner parties or at christmas gatherings, but then what happens once that isn’t enough anymore? let’s talk about other things. bigger things. things that will last much longer than any career or any relationship.

as long as i’m content with where i am, knowing it’s god’s will & not mine, i sleep well at night. when i start worrying if i’m keeping up with all the steps or the awkward dinner party conversation i might have with strangers, that’s when i’ve lost sight of the purpose. the purpose isn’t to complete a bunch of steps. the purpose is to serve & love. the rest will happen in it’s time. just like it always does.

take 8 minutes & watch this beautiful poetic story of waiting. waiting. ugh. it’s just so powerful.

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let’s live life abandoned & see how easily christ rescues us.

i dare you.

single life.

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the sassy, beautiful lady on the { left } is a very happily married woman.

the sarcastic, unique chick on the { right } is a very content single woman.

i have officially named march “marry me month.” at least 17 of my friends (err facebook friends) have taken that life step. they have agreed to spend the rest of their life with the love of their life. it’s beautiful & bizarre & baffling to me.

no. it’s not the proposal that baffles me. or the engagement. or the future wedding. i think it’s the lifetime marriage.

social media takes us on this seamless journey as these couples make life decisions before our very eyes.

side note: i truly am happy for all those people. they’re committing to marriage. it’s not a fairytale. we all know that. but it still gives us single folk that glimpse – that taste – that sip – of hope. if they can find true love – then it’s gotta be out there for me. for everyone.

this is not gonna be a post about true love. bc i don’t even know what that is.

this is me writing about my life as a single person. i’m twenty five. i’m content. i’m curious. i’m crazy. it’s a great combo.

i love that i literally am surrounded by a multitude of married couples day in & day out. i love that i get to see their marriages strengthen & go through changes. i love being able to learn from them.

it’s overwhelming. the older i get, the more i wonder about the series of life events that are supposed to happen.

social media helps with this anxiety i have. there is some sort of time frame everything should happen; some order to it. the pressure is hilarious because let’s face it. if there were no facebook – all pressure would practically disappear. you might get a twice a year nag session from grandma at easter or christmas, but all she really wants is to be a great grandma. it’s a pressure that i’m not complaining about, it’s just so interesting. so amusing.

so, tonight, i proclaim that we can break the mold – us single people. we can focus on friendships. we can focus on careers. we can focus on self-care & get physically fit. we can focus on our hearts & trying to get all the junk out. we can focus on sleeping. if we want, we can nap all the live-long-day. not many married people can say that. & if they do, well, ya know.

two years ago i told my story about being single. it was a pretty awesome experience. i woke up in the middle night for a week and talked into the voice memo app on my ipod touch. God was speaking to my heart in the middle of the night. when it was time to type it all out, i played all the voice memos & this is how it came out – watch it HERE.

God inspires people everyday. He uses so many different things to do so. my prayer tonight is that i keep my eyes open to His inspirations. to His love. to His idea of what a single life can look like.

**disclaimer** if you don’t have seven minutes to listen to my testimony – that’s totally cool. but HEAR this. or ((read)) this. i DO have a desire to be married. i DO have a desire to be a wife/best friend someday. i DO have the desire to be a mom. to love a kid more than myself. i have those desires – but i have faith that they come in different times for everyone. does that make sense? if we all found love at the same time – facebook would blow up. literally.